how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
