If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
