are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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