Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
