How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
