Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
