once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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