Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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