Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
