Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
