what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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