Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
