he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i dont even know how to be here
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
