You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
