dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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