I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
