sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
