I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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