you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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