K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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