Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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