I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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