Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
