Redeem this text for a blowjob
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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