Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
