after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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