are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
