thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
PANTIES FOUND
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
