shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
