Whod you bang
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
