i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just googled if crying burns calories
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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