I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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