He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
