i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
