walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
