Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
