you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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