I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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