I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
