I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Everyone says I win the strip club
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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