You work out of a Hotel?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also, beer. Big fan.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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