so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
