I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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