so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
