Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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