You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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