8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I had to cum in my sink.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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