I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm always down for nudity.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
