So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
