i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
