I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
