it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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